Sunday, February 1, 2009

Interpersonal Conflicts: Bob and Damien

Bob (elder) and Damien are brothers that, since young, have never seen eye to eye on anything. Bob believes that their mum dotes on his younger brother (Damien) more. Bob goes to their grandmother to express his unhappiness and is thus more doted on by his grandmother. Also, because he is her eldest grandson. Damien had never been wary of Bob’s refuge to their grandmother since young. However, just recently, Damien learnt from grandmother about the accusations directed at him by Bob. This made Damien very angry but refused to clarify the issue with grandmother due to her age. Damien also avoids confronting Bob as accusations included their mother. As a result, Bob and Damien never talked there after.

Three years ago, grandmother had bought Bob a car after he got his license. Buying of this car, was much objected by mum as she didn’t want grandmother to spend the money. Nevertheless, Bob still obtained the car to much disapproval from mum and dad. Being younger, Damien got his license three years later and was eagerly wanting to drive the car. Bob was very reluctant as he felt that Damien had not supported him when he was trying to get the car. After Damien drove the car a few times and matters deteriorated, Bob showed his unhappiness. Being the obstinate and brash, Damien vowed not to drive the car again after a few arguments and this further worsened the situation.

During this year’s Chinese New Year, Bob who is already working offered Damien a red packet. Since it was for good luck, Damien accepted it unwillingly. Damien, as stubborn as a mule, thought that he would return the red packet after the first day of the lunar new year. This made mum and dad very upset

What do you think their parents should do to resolve this long term disagreement which has been brewing in Damien?